This week is a time for contemplation. I am still working, but my mind is with my Nan and her pending service on Friday. But what I feel is a calm abiding. I am not too emotional, nor am I emotionless. I feel like I am building a barrier around me to stop searing pain from punishing my heart on Friday afternoon. I can't imagine watching the hearse drive away - I simply can't imagine it.
It is also evident I have moved up a generation. I remember a co-worker saying to me some years ago, after the death of her Mother, that "her generation is next". I am not next (in a linear sense), but I definitely feel closer to that side of life than the grade two class I was reading with today.I feel the gravity of age, I think - even though death can visit anyone at any age.
But, as a good friend said to me today, life has many seasons - and this is just one of them. I know the blooms will come out anew and I know the dew drops will be there in the morning. And that is very important - to know, no matter what, that life will go on.
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