Sunday, 13 May 2012

Mother (a personal story)

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I was told during my teen years that I would have trouble having children - more than likely not be able to. Without going into the nitty grittys, my ovaries starting being uncooperative when I was around 10 years old. I have had problems with them ever since, but I do love them so. Apparently they aren't the most attractive ovaries around, but they did end up giving me my wonderful boys.

I grew into adulthood not really thinking about children, as I'd accepted I wouldn't have them. On top of that, I am not the most girly girl around and wasn't overly maternal, either...so, all was well in the land of me and not being a Mother unless I adopted (which was fine with me!).

I found the man of my dreams and he accepted that we would probably never be biological parents. Life continued...and continued...and continued.

And then in I started feeling very tired in the evenings and I had a little nausea waking up. I shoved it to one side, citing stress. The weeks continued, as did the tiredness and nausea. I changed my diet thinking my body wasn't happy with something I was giving it. I remember driving to work each morning with this little nausea sucking on a milk drink to make it go away.

And then the penny dropped one day and I decided to buy a pregnancy test...just to see....just in case.

I told Justin what I was going to check for, but he shrugged it off as years had gone by without children and surely it was 'just a virus'?

I went and checked with my little test and two lines popped out of the whiteness as I was staring at it in the bathroom. It was positive result - I checked and checked the pamphlet and it said positive.

To say I was dumbstruck is an understatement.

I opened the bathroom door and walked into the kitchen. Justin was washing the dishes. I told him the test had come back positive and I was pregnant.

He looked at me, stunned, and said 'how did that happen?'

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These are my first memories of being a parent. Because after I found out you I was pregnant I immediately looked after that little being with all of your might and will. I found out I was pregnant when I was 10 weeks along with Logan - and within a month of Logan being born, Retro Age Vintage Fabrics was also born. I am a Mother to both - without Logan, I wouldn't have my business. They are entwined - I truly believe that.

My own Mother is very dear to me and without her my life would be so much 'thinner'. She enriches it with her support and love - her giggles and stern rules - her love of a joke and watching sport in every spare minute. Her life has also been enriched by being Nanny to our two boys (Gabriel followed Logan four years later!) and to watching our business blossom and grow.

Tomorrow Retro Age leaves my comforting arms and moves to it's own space and will open for those who love vintage fabric. It has grown large enough to leave the parental eyes 24/7 and will live entirely separate to us - it is growing each and every day into a wonderful business we are immensly proud of.

I can't imagine my life without my sons. Sure, there are some days when I wish I was the spontaneous thing who could do anything and everything on a whim...but 364 days a year I am so very grateful for the blessing of bringing up two boys who are being taught to care for our world and the people in it.

And I am so very grateful I have such a wonderful Mum who is there for me each and every step of the way - no matter how young or old I am. One of my most wonderful memories is when she arrived in my hospital room the day I gave birth to Logan. She saw us together, one sitting and happily watching the twinkling city night lights and the other happily suckling at the breast. She beamed so very proudly.

Happy Mother's Day, Mum - and thank you to my lovely boys for my breakfast in bed and hand-picked goodies chosen from school. It beats a silly toaster or mass-made product any day...

1 comment:

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