Yes, life is a stretch at the moment....there is no doubt. Justin's diagnosis of a mild stroke will be confirmed this Wednesday, but we are fairly certain that's what it is. Thankfully, it was only mild and he has no permanent brain damage - but that doesn't help when you see him in pain, as his left side is very heavy and painful (he limps) and he stammers through his words. There has been daily improvements, so I am very hopeful he will recover 100% in due course. Every time I look at him I wonder at how this could happen to an otherwise healthy 37 year old. But apparently it does - "for no reason" says the surgeons. And apparently strokes in younger people are becoming more common.
Life must go on for us and I am finding myself just living for the day...for, who am I to say there will be a tomorrow? I find myself just focusing on tasks and enjoying simple things, reminding myself to try and enjoy even menial tasks as this is life and it is there to be enjoyed any which way you can.
The business is ticking over and we are putting time aside each day to allow me in to work.
I'll leave you with a strange conversation I 'had' when I was drifting off to sleep the other night.
A gentle male voice (in my head, but not!) asked me - "What are you doing?". I replied "going to sleep". And then this gentle voice came back and said "Then go to sleep. Simply fall asleep". And then another conversation started, with identical words, when I was thinking of my tasks for the following day. The voice said "what are you doing?". I replied "doing the dishes". And the voice quietly said "Then do the dishes. Simply do the dishes." I don't know where this came from, but this conversation definitely helped put my thinking back into perspective - to focus on what is in front of me, not what is ahead of me, and to be gracious while doing it and to enjoy the time. That conversations has popped back into my head so many times over the past couple of days and has helped to calm me down when things just get too much.
Onwards and upwards.
xNess
Wow he is young for that to happen I hope he contimues to get better.
ReplyDeleteI think we all think too far ahead sometimes and wrry about things that may never happen..I try not to plan ahead and just go with what the day gives us.